I went to the airport, and it turns out you have to have a ticket to be groped! Pay for play unfair! What if I just want to be sure I am not a threat to myself in my own home or car? Who will think of the children? And grope them.

If you’re going to be gadding about in a metal bird of death this holiday season, or if you’re going anywhere near North Korea, you’d be wise to study Kitty Winn’s victim tribute photo tips. To add a touch of modernity to Kitty’s sage advice, I suggest uploading a few flattering shots at print resolution and making them into a Facebook album called “OK to use in the event of my exotic death.” Some people just can’t see the forest for the trees.

Now go forth and conquer! My flan is done. Let it be known.

2 responses to “Scanners”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *