Leave it to Vomitola to be on the cutting edge of pretty much everything. Weren’t we just talking about the need for a new arch-nemesis? Ol’ Barry O “Bam Bam” can never stand to be long outdone by us, so he rid the country of its top cartoon villain. Well hoo de hoo. I guess nothing bad will ever happen again and I can start wearing thigh high lace ups to the airport, their spiny heels filled with secret hooch, and still retain my dignity. Just joshing, kids, the War On Terror will continue unabated. If anything, with greater drooling enthusiasm than we have seen in quite some time. PHEW. Now all we need is a new Dr. of Evil, preferably one with an unusual moustache. Perhaps now that John Galliano is out of a job…
If I can cease my hysterics at the contemplation of Galliano in full spangly faux military regalia, leading the chants of “death to America”, I will conclude with a LIST:
Top Ten Things People Are Saying About the Death of Bin Laden
1. Why didn’t they look him up on Google maps sooner?
2. “I am MAYOR of his mansion!”
3. Must retire the phrase “..then the terrorists have won.”
4. He was not so much killed as written out of the script
5. Barry Bounce!
6. Say Hi To Hitler, the new broadway musical
7. A sad, abrupt finish to Will & Kate coverage
8. Maybe we shouldn’t be waving flags in the street becasue someone is dead, lest we be confused with religious extremists, a.k.a. what Crazypants “lefty” McLamesauce would say
9. Trump Truce Offered!
10. He was the last one, right?
I think it’s time we signed up for the foreign services, what with our handiness with a rapier-tipped umbrella. Let’s just spare everyone the hassle and theatrics and assassinate before the crime is even committed! Perhaps before it is even thought.
Do you think the American people could somehow work arm bands into these festivities?
It is truly shocking how poorly people are behaving after a decade of displaying such profound humility. We are not ones for hubris in this country!