I have been avoiding it, talking about being sick, detailing the contents of my hanky with comments like “i didn’t know that shade of green existed in nature. not in my nature, anyway….” But dammit I am flu-ey and really bored of it.
So i was fiddling with the velcro closure on my new medical brace (its an elastic thing that holds things together in the event of abdominal muscle failure. it’s padded on the outside which makes it also look like a shield, if Gaultier made them.) when I came across this article about infanticide. And it interested me because lately my ideas about the nature of beauty and weakness and their counterparts have moved into the suggestion of physical defects or conditions. My head is full of thick shiny braids and warped spines and the possibility for happiness.