Let’s run the numbers, shall we?
hours spent flying: 3.5
hours spent in airport: 11
crying children: 4
times I heard “I Shot the Sheriff” while sitting near airport Starbucks: 3
calories in a tall non-fat flavored latte: 210
cost of wireless access day pass: $7.95
cost to park car at airport: $66
hours spent with parents: 12.5
hours spent with stress-induced narcolepsy: 4
cost of flight and hotel: $750
amount of gift certificates received by Mr. H for Sharper Image: $200
things he might actually want at Sharper Image: maybe Robosapien?
amount of cash received: approx. 6 months of therapy co-pays
times i was offered cranberry bread: 9
times i was bitten by a cat: 3
moments of heart-stopping terror and pity upon opening ugly gift: 1
times i said “damn”: countless
times we saw a dog crap in the lobby of a nice hotel: 1
(pictured: actual lobby of our hotel, stunt double dog)