Someone suggested I have Zellweger write a post, but I can’t find her. Other wife keeps piping up while I’m trying to hear Oprah, and she leaves crumbs all over the kitchen floor. I also misplaced our chupacabra, so my ybab is wandering around unfettered, demanding entertainment and sustenance. Scheduling conflict, and all, as the chupacabra opted to get an entirely new job and disappear without mentioning it. Oh well. If you love it, set it free. And when you see it is online on Myspace while it won’t return your calls, it was not meant to be. You may also wonder if you should mention to your friend who also uses the same chupacabra that pictures of her child are on Myspace. Sigh.
At any rate, I feel 187% less like jumping off a bridge this July than last July. I attribute this to a number of factors: El NiÃ±o, interest rates fluctuating, and not having a newborn. Ybab is a delight, trotting around jibbering and meowing at everything. She likes long walks on the beach, crackers, and looking at dogs. What a difference a few zillion neural connections make. She can unscrew caps now. If only I could claim the same skills. At least I am not Mr. H, who cannot remember the words to “Head, shoulders, knees, and toes.” I said “You just failed your kindergarten exit exam, I think,” and he replied that he did in fact repeat kindergarten. Oops.