Do it for Science!

Hello boys and girls, Kitty Winn here. You may remember our distraught young writer from yesterday, Pine Fresh. Well, he’s risen to the challenge and provided us with a smorgasboard of personal information. Kitty did have to coax a bit, but we’ve arrived at an intriguing profile. So sit back, enjoy, and prepare to pounce on this tasty morsel!

Kitty Winn: So, give us some basic statistics.

Pine Fresh: Human male. 5’8″, 156 pounds. I’m a guilty white liberal. A yuppie.

KW: Hobbies and interests?

PF: I like art, both creating and looking at it. I enjoy going to see bands or DJs, but I don’t like the club scene so much. When it’s not too cold I like to just wander around the city and try to get lost in a new neighborhood.

KW: Favorite food?

PF: I like sushi, or spicy chinese eggplant.

KW: Favorite sad movie/ favorite funny movie:

PF: For sad, I think you have to go for “Happiness”, and for funny I really like “The Usual Suspects.”

“Oswald was a fag” is such a great line. And “No, give ME the gun, you motherfucking cocksucker.”

KW: Favorite reading material, printed and online:

PF: Books I liked: The Corrections (I know, I know), magazines I read: the New Yorker (for the articles!) and The Economist (for the cartoons!), and websites I like include

KW: And he also meant to add “Vomitola!” What are you listening to right now?

PF: Public Enemy, “Fear of a Black Planet.”

KW: What makes you a good fling?

PF: I’ll call once or twice, and I’ll get the hint if you aren’t interested!

KW: What makes you a good long term relationship (LTR)?

PF: I listen to and respect my partner. I always make sure the other person is having as good a time as I am.

KW: Come on, let’s give our hopelessly immature readers a treat.

PF: I have nice muscles? I smell nice?

KW: Good enough. Favorite kitchen implement?

PF: Tongs.

KW: Nasty boy!

So there you have it, gentle readers. If you are a comely lass in search of a partner in the greater Boston area, write Kitty with a summary of qualifications, and we’ll see if we can make the first love connection.



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