Tag Archives: suck it Palin

I Have Forgiven Jesus

Abba gabba gabba. Eeeba deeedle dabba.

Well, we ranted, we donated, we nagged, we discovered Morrissey song titles apply to any electoral situation, and we even knew the name of the Prime Minister of Canada. I don’t know what’s left, besides setting a trash can on fire and tipping a car. I am in shock. OK, Sarah, keep moving. Do not stop at the microphone. Nope! There we go. And never, ever make fun of community organizers again. Ah, you feel me.

Ankles aloft, mes amis! I need a hanky and a can of champagne! We will see you in the future when all’s well.

I Want the One I Can’t Have

I was practicing folksy cussing in case I need it (Shitwickets! Twattarnit! Bullfumbles! There is an elbow gesture that goes with these.). But I am cautiously optimistic that I won’t really need to deploy this.

Fox News is going out on a limb and calling Ohio for McCain, despite everyone else, um, not. ABC just called it for Obama. I am holding out for open, unguarded weeping once we work through merely crotchety. Oh, the Fox News website just recanted. It is hard to be you, Fox News! There is a word for what is happening to you. Wait, it will come to me.

Should I photoshop little Obama heads on all the blue states and Morrissey heads on the red ones? Y/N before I drink more.

I had a dream

In my dream, I was grocery shopping, and Sarah Palin was there defending herself against the newly exhumed fact that she did not graduate from high school (N.B.: this is in a dream, I ain’t be starting any rumors). Of course this led to her supporters showing up and chanting “Sarah Palin graduates! Sarah Palin graduates!” Now here’s the bummer: a rudimentary Google search shows that my dream is not even that original! Sigh. I want to do whatever common people do. Step it up, 90s loving subconscious.

We dragged a ybab to the great state of New Hampshire yesterday to see Barack Obama. Joe Biden didn’t come, and that was too bad, because a ybab was much better at pronouncing Joe Biden. I got my “Million MILFs for Obama”* t-shirt, and ybab chose an unlicensed Peanuts “Obama for Kids” button, and we installed ourselves on a grassy knoll to watch.

Hearing Obama in person was inspiring. He’s a phenomenal speaker, and the energy of the crowd was so comforting. We didn’t even see any hecklers, except for one random homeless couple. Who knew the homeless favor big business and trickle down economics?

I am beyond sick of hearing this campaign fought via spin in the media. I checked the Boston Globe for pictures of the event later in the afternoon, and of course there was a quote from Tucker Bounds at the end of the article (fair and balanced and all) saying that Obama campaigning with a hurricane going on was essentially despicable, and the “scathing personal attacks” were a new low. Huh? I was there, was Tucker Bounds? I missed the scathing, and usually I know from scathing. Trust me, I love scathing! And I am sure that Sarah Palin’s event in Nevada on the same day featured zero scathing remarks. Obama opened his speech with discussion of the hurricane situation, and he urged everyone to contribute to the American Red Cross.

My one wish is that people would review the positions put forth by candidates right from the websites of the individual candidates. I am weary of hearing facts come out crushed in a game of telephone, facts from friends and acquaintances who are normally very together people. It brings us all down. We can’t rely on sound bites and “Well, my friend read that…” We have unparalleled access to primary source information these days.

Let’s say you are worried about taxes? We should absolutely be worried about what the government intends to collect and how they want to spend it. Go read the Obama tax plan. It won’t take much longer than updating your fantasy Project Runway team (mine is doing really well, thank you!). There’s a link on that page to the full PDF, as well as a comparison chart. This is McCain’s tax policy. Do you see any mention of the poor or middle class? I don’t. Read, read, read. Make up your own mind on this one. We are all in this together as hard workers and people who want the best for our families.

If you are able to, please consider contributing to the Obama campaign via my financing link.

Now a ybab is awake, and I have to hear the story of how Mr. H converted a Republican in the checkout line by quoting actual facts. Not that it really matters, stupid electoral college.

*Apparently no one has printed this shirt yet. I am glad I fact-checked myself. And I call dibbs.

Let’s sue some bears, or arm them, or something. It hurts.

I haven’t discussed politics as they relate to this presidential election as of yet. I have thought about writing something down about a zillion times, and I end up feeling sick and queasy and just inarticulate and angry. Friday’s Republican VP pick actually filled me with cold fear. Here is someone who has the charisma and “spunk” that a certain segment of America loves to see, bringing a zeal and energy that John McCain cannot muster. She shoots the bacon, brings it home, fries it up in a pan. Just remember, Moxie is actually rather vile in the end.

I find her brand of ideology repugnant, and yet people are urging me to give her a chance because she is “nice.” Why is it always a woman who trades in nice? Why is this a redeeming quality when you have nothing ideologically in common with a person? Do Republicans sit around and say “Well, that Barack, I sure do disagree with him, but he is SO NICE!” I think not. Would I enjoy chatting with Ms. Palin? I am sure we could crack wise and yuck it up over some bourbon. Hot tub at the ski lodge all the way! Does this have anything to do with how I vote? Not in a million years.

Sadly, many people get their news exclusively from TV and interpreting photos of smiling, accessible looking people, and maybe she looks and sounds more like their America than the Democratic ticket does. To me, she sounds snide in her delivery (which I kind of like, as long as it’s not in an elected leader), inexperienced and full of contradictions, but different strokes, I guess. Her speech last night was certainly rapturous for a group of the homeliest white folks I have ever seen, so she’s on to something.

Anyway, I got off my ass, made my Obama donation
til it hurt, and I hugged my little girl, filthy abortion-seeking slut that she may turn out to be. The irony of Ms. Palin “choosing” to have her son despite his medical condition and her daughter’s “decision to have her baby” is priceless. Apparently it IS a choice, unless you’re everyone else. Probably 75% of the women I know have had abortions. I must run with the wrong crowd.

Miserable depression greeted some of us the day after the 2004 election, and I had actually allowed myself a ray of hope this time around, that maybe people would realize that we as a nation are NOT better off than we were eight years ago, not by a long shot. Me, eh, I’ve never been without private health insurance. I’ve never been afraid of not paying my rent. I’ve never gone without food or delicious, delicious prescription drugs. My credit card pays ME. I bet I’ll be fine, no matter who wins.

Until, I dunno, the economy contracts further, there’s no more budget for stupid web applications, we lose our jobs, blow through our emergency fund paying for our own health insurance, and walk away from our mortgage. And eat the caaaaaaat, if she doesn’t eat us first. Unless you are at a McCain level of wealth, chances are you’re closer to the edge than you might like to consider. It’s the economy, stupid. The endless beast of a war. The environment. Social services. Equality. Possibly three Supreme Court justices. I have never been more scared than in realizing that the majority of the country may not be happily champing at the bit to undo the last eight years. I just can’t picture these two chatting up foreign leaders, but I guess after W, anything really is possible. Let’s just go ahead and put an addition on the double-wide and park it on the White House lawn and call it a day.