Did you know over 80% of all sex occurs in the home? And only 45% of fatal injuries occur in the home. So we must be doing something right, as a nation.* Safety first!
I like to start the day with a little laundry. It’s a real turn on when your beloved leaves a trail of Â used garments on the floor, a saucy scavenger hunt if you will. Then it’s up to you to get soapy with those socks!
See how much I am enjoying myself? There ought to be a law against this much pleasure.
Then I move on to the outdoor chores, like the pioneer woman I am. I have to water the horses and mockingly withhold affection:
Then I would cook dinner, but not eating results in a far sexier frame than tossing back a pot roast every night. So I open the fridge and look at things disparagingly, and then I close the fridge with a sassy bump of the hip. Ouch!
Then the nude housecleaner comes over to do the grout, and the rest is Miller Time.
*97% of all bloggers admit to making up statistics.