You must not know about me

I heard a disturbing song on the radio the other day wherein Beyonce throws a dude’s stuff out. That’s fine. I’m all for throwing a dude’s stuff out. He was probably an insolent whelp. Beyonce doesn’t have time for trifling.

Then she tells the dude that “I could have another you in a minute,” cautioning her lover to always remember he can be easily replaced. Yes, but wouldn’t you want to replace the cad who “called up on that chick to see if she is home” with a non-cad? Another him would be an emotional disaster. Has Beyonce not seen Groundhog Day? Apparently not, because she’s on and on telling the dude “I will have another you by tomorrow.” Nooooo, Beyonce. Break the chains!

I made sure to use this teachable moment to remind a baby that the number one rule of a broken relationship is “always trade up.” Just think, I could still be dating a roustabout if I had played my cards right. He was in a very promising local band that, as promised, is still a local band ten years later.

Tomorrow: I bring a baby up to speed on taking stylish victim tribute photos.

4 responses to “You must not know about me”

  1. I just clicked on a Google ad that asked, “Are You a Slacker Mom?” See what you attract when you play Beyonce for impressionable minds?

    Actually, a confession: I don’t know who or what Beyonce is.

  2. david: I am not convinced that you don’t know what a Beyonce is. Are you a slacker mom?
    candice: a baby does not share this opinion today.

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