Dear Kitty Winn,
My boyfriend has gone on a camping trip with his buddy/ex-girlfriend. I know her pretty well, it seems on the level, and lord knows I don’t belong on a mountain in platform shoes, swinging my little purse. But the longer he is gone (its a two week trek) the more I miss him and begin to feel jealous. Or that maybe there is something amiss in this relationship that I am in this situation in the first place. Should I be worried? Maybe I should stick to men whose ideas of vacation, like mine, involve hemmorhaging money in a fancy european city or poolside cocktails.
Oh, your letter transports me to a river of wine at the Bar du’ MarchÃ©. You are in over your head, little missy, with Mr. Tent Flap. And even if everything is on the up-and-up and not on the in-out with his campfire buddy, well, eww. Ex-girlfriends were meant to be despised and compared unfavorably to yourself. That is their job. They did not make love/create happiness/lick stamps as well as you do. However, we must tolerate them occasionally. That does not mean we pack off our mates to roast weenies with them. That is our right. Good luck finding someone a little more black jacket, manhattans, and ranting and storming about his love for you into your intercom and a little less timberlands, wheat grass, and bunking with ex-girlfriends.
On a personal note, Kitty Winn is pleased to announce that she is floating around her flat, humming “Love is in the Air”. Ahh, Men. Kitty Winn loves you all. Nearly. So I am going to take the rest of the weekend off from you sad bastards. I simply advise everyone to spend Sunday curled up on the sofa with someone incredibly good-looking.