Tag Archives: nyquil addiction

i-ve given up–

Yesterday I received an email from my mother, the woman who taught me to read, the woman who obsessively drilled me on grammar and punctuation, in which she stated “Our’s is better.” I consulted my sister, and she agreed that the internet is making everyone stupid. Well, I wan-t a piece of it.

me: lets popularize the overuse of dashes

me: im done with apostrophes

her: well–if you feel we must

me: totally-dont you think-

her: i used to know some kids who overused elipses….that got old fast….but they seemed to think it was reasonable

me: thats fun too-but dashes are snappier

her: totally–im on-the-go!

me: in five years-if all the internet uses shitty dashes-i will feel so vindicated

her: ha-ha

her: totally–

me: two dashes at the end of the sentence indicates enthusiasm–

her: ok–

me: why are you-re dashe-s bigger than mine —-

her: different font?

me: oh right- i felt insecure

her: someone who works at the local paper–said theyre letting alot of people go right now–not doing so much hiring

her: and that i should try NPR

me: wait-ll they see these dashes-

her: i know–

her: wave of the effing future

me: —–

her: –right–

me: good god—–

her: –in front gives it that mexicano flavor–

me: –ole–

me: it-s fun to type–

me: fun like drinking nyquil–

her: i wish i had some nyquil—right now

Then we dis-cussed how dis-appointed we are in our parents- plan to pave the front yard.


Bela Lugosi’s Dead

Never you mind my earlier ramblings! I’ve gained purchase, a new lease on life. After my nightly Nyquil swig that allows me to breathe, I looked up cough syrup addiction because Crazy John told me that teens the world over guzzle tussin because the active ingredient causes hallucinations. I found all sorts of vile cocktail recipes involving tussin. Most of those were up there with the “Listo [Listerine] and OJ” and “Listo and Pepsi” favored by some of the homeless population. Apparently you have to drink a good six ounces, so I think I don’t have to worry.

Then I found this paean to tussin addiction, set way back in 1997. A proto blog. It involves goths, Charlottesville, VA, and the charming effect of hyperlinking every other word. Why, there’s even a glossary! This site should be laminated. Even the links are poetic: “Amy-“Gothic Amy”; we slept together once.” And there’s a photo gallery. Ah, the internet, fresh with dew.