Hmm. Lambchop and I still live in blue states, it seems. Elsewhere, the craziest crazies were not elected. America, you shock me! In keeping with the tenet that conservatives think everyone is out to get them, and liberals think everyone is incredibly stupid, I am rightfully nonplussed.

No Sharron Angle, no Christine O’Donnell, no Linda McMahon. No Fiorina, no Whitman. Is that a crushing blow to women? Or only to women unfit to lead? When Anna Wintour runs, I am sure she will be installed as president posthaste, perhaps on a ruby-encrusted fainting couch. Karl Lagerfeld will be Secretary of State, so he’ll be able to fan her.

However, Californians are all for shapeshifting for corporations, if I’m reading that right (and I’m not)! But they are not for legalizing Marijuana. Yet in Massawhosits, we will no longer have to pay sales tax on liquor! Woooo! A jaunty pink flute of Kitty Dukakis (official Vomitola cocktail) all around! I raise my glass to you, irresponsible citizens of the world.

I guess I’ll just have to set the dial on the time machine to the day of Palin’s inauguration in 2013 to get satisfaction for my crazy yen. Oh my God, as her first act, there is a federal mandate to wear banana clips! And she signed it with one of those troll doll pens!