I was practicing folksy cussing in case I need it (Shitwickets! Twattarnit! Bullfumbles! There is an elbow gesture that goes with these.). But I am cautiously optimistic that I won’t really need to deploy this.

Fox News is going out on a limb and calling Ohio for McCain, despite everyone else, um, not. ABC just called it for Obama. I am holding out for open, unguarded weeping once we work through merely crotchety. Oh, the Fox News website just recanted. It is hard to be you, Fox News! There is a word for what is happening to you. Wait, it will come to me.

Should I photoshop little Obama heads on all the blue states and Morrissey heads on the red ones? Y/N before I drink more.