The CEO is an illiterate cat with a food item on its head

I get emails from Morningstar goading me into affluence, here and I see that today ORLY has been upgraded to “consider buying.” Great! This will go nicely with my core holdings of OMG, remedy LOL, and WTF.

For the purpose of making that dumb joke, I found out that besides ORLY, only OMG is a real ticker symbol. What? You mean most of my portfolio is imaginary? That much I know is true. But the good news is that I only need to save one million dollars a year in the last three years before I retire in order to reach my retirement savings goal! I am not going to bother saving until then. I am positive I will make enough space bucks then. It will be a breeze. A chilling breeze, from the depths of outer space.

Also, the river is rising abruptly ahead of predictions. My flood insurance does not become active until the 26th. Timing, schmiming.

4 responses to “The CEO is an illiterate cat with a food item on its head”

  1. The river is rising early in order to glom on to your fabulous stock tips. Just whisper “ORLY” into its banks and it will recede forever. Oh wait, forget it: BANKS! I was wrong. Why does a river not need your stupid stock tips? Because it already has TWO BANKS. Oh man, you are going to get so wet. You doomed, yo.

  2. I have often wanted to get things monogrammed “WTF.” But not enough to pay for things, or for monogramming them.

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