It’s about time I had fans with deep pockets, fans who can shower mewith gifts.The time is now, fans. Thanks for sticking with me until I needed you.I’m sure you feltperipheralattimes. But that is no tthe case.The universefunctions in strange ways. The strangest. Myspacebar doesn’t work quite as it should. This is incredibly distressing to me.As ifthis time ofyearis not distressing enough. Oh, I should have bought Apple care.Wait, I did buyApple care. And there is a funny story about Apple.Lastweek Mr. H said we should buy Apple stockbecause it isabout to split or something, and Isaid “howmuch no money are we talking,” and hesaidit cost something like$80 a share.And I looked, and itwasa lot morethan that. Iwonder where he got$80? But I bought it anyway because I like making impulsedecisions. This has servedme wellin all areas of life ornot. And then I noticed just yesterdaythat I have a strange new freckle with irregular borders, soIreally hopethe stock splits because I am going to need massive surgery soon. I’d do it myself, but after the homemade botox, I wasput on notice. The homemade botoxisstill good on toast, at least.
I remember some stupid New Yorker cartoon, or maybe it wasn’t the New Yorker because they would never have been so unencumbered with pretense, but that style of art. And the caption was something like, “I speak English, Spanish, C, Cobol, Basic, Fortran…” What ever happened Fortran? I bought AAPL before it split last time, and now I am a millionaire. Wait, no I’m not.
I didn’t really buy the stock. I like writing fiction even better than impulse decisions. I am glad to hear that money has not changed you.
I also speak Spanish!