Someday I am going to go to grad school just so I can write a dissertation on the archetype of the hero dog.
I need a hero dog. I would probably have more luck finding one of those than I am having finding a small human minder on Craigslist. My ghost writer is on strike, so perhaps my ad was less than compelling: “You: don’t be a degenerate! Salary negotiable. You troll! I just know you want to sell my small human the second my back is turned.”
My upper lip smells funny. Am I dying? Oh, it’s my lip balm. I apologize, but sometimes it takes a few moments of “freewriting” to clear the cache before I can do real work. You read this of your own free will! I am going to put that in my gratitude journal.