Throw away the key

Last night, the Director of Software did not return until tiny human and I were fast asleep. All the software needed extra directing. Like Kevin Federline, I’d assume. The Director missed a delicious dinner, which featured me zesting lots of stuff while an irascible monkey clung to my leg. We have places for monkeys like that.

In other news, my net worth is still negative. But my self-worth, gossssshhhh, it’s out of sight. I have nice ankles! I am kind to animals! I send thank you notes! Yes, it’s good to be me. Remind me of this when I am humiliated beyond belief at the financial planner’s office tomorrow. Apparently people are supposed to have things like emergency funds, retirement funds, college funds, and insurance for many unpleasant situations. We have some of that, but in amusingly petite amounts. My IRA is so cute! I could just pat it on the head.

Perhaps the Director can get a second job. Perhaps the monkey can learn to play the bones on a street corner. Perhaps I will move to Mexico with the last dregs of the savings account. It is spring, and anything can happen.

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