Toting a baby around in a sack around my neck while in a store incites adults to make ridiculous faces. Do we know peek-a-boo? Do we? No, we care not for your antics. We care for 88% dark chocolate and being able to buy all the wine we want in grocery stores. A baby got me a sample of sushi. She would have been better served to get me a free eyebrow waxing, considering she has to look at me. She also got us invited to crash the express lane. I am like that awful boll weevil with the sense of entitlement. Except I don’t have one at all. I am as surprised as the next beetle. Honest.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have stop a baby from leaving rakes subtly angled next to the parking spots of neighbors.

4 responses to “Apparently”

  1. Oh! I am so sorry your child is deformed! Did you have to Photoshop the birth announcement? I had to airbrush out a tail on ours.

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