Earlier a baby stopped draining my life force and whipped her head around to face the speakers when “Every Day is Like Sunday” came on the shuffle. Then she demanded to sit up and bounce. How many zillion hours of Morrissey did I expose her to in utero? That was probably more dangerous than all the wine*.

Now we have to go outside before we accidentally weep to death!

*It’s a joke. Joke. Close the email window. Step away from the computer. I mean “all the wine” is a joke. Well, an exaggeration. I certainly did drink a spot of wine here and there. Like they do in freaking Europe, after all the important organs are baked. But certainly more Morrissey was absorbed than alcohol. Certainly.