You all have such strong Lohan reactions. Aren’t you glad I decided to watch the Lohan True Hollywood Story yesterday? I was going to watch Loretta Lynn’s Haunted Plantation on the Travel Channel, but Mr. H decided that would be boring and took the remote away.

Christ. As if he knows from boring. Later he made us go to a street festival! He duped people into coming with us by not telling them how much it was sure to suck. And suck it did. Although I did eat an empanada. Colombian style. That means filled with cocaine.