Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Did you know there are calories in food? I just found out about this. I am going to lodge a complaint with the maitre d’!

Don’t worry, this personal homepage is still about Renee Zellweger. I just thought I’d mix it up with a Nicole. I got a million more Zellwegers.

Hey, let’s talk about having sex with animals, in a totally non-topical way. Neal Horsley, anti-abortion wingnut who started the Nuremberg Files website to provide personal details about abortion providers, admitted to Alan Colmes that he’d had sex with a mule. But see, the mule wanted it. It was consensual bestiality, if not outright mule prostitution. Mules: they want to come over and bone us. I bet this is how the herpes spreads.

Ok, Zellwegers, I have to go buy organic fabric softener now.