Morrissey calls election for Jon Stewart.

The staff apologizes for the recent lack of updates, but we were crumpled in a drunken heap on the floor. Some call it a black out, we call it a power nap. Now we’re tanned, rested, and ready. Hello Cleveland!

The rest of the Morrisseys are temporarily at bay, stymied by a broomstick through the door handles. We are like to crawl under the bed, such are our nerves frayed by the existence of the entire middle and south of the country. Sure, they have a right to exist, but we have a right to be utterly boggled.