Phoning it in

How is it that this site gets regular traffic from people at both Randomhouse and Dreamworks, yet we are still unfamous? I’ve written a nasty little book, Lambchop has acted in a film, we keep up our hairstyles, and yet here we sit, entertaining you slavering halfwits with mention of gumjobs and Lindsay Lohan’s nethers.

To add insult to injury, they handed out Genius Grants to people other than us. How does one get nominated for a genius grant? Is it like being a Mason?

Aw, fuck it. We know we’re public servants even if the MacArthur foundation doesn’t. Recent search terms clip show, here we go. Never stop questioning, internet.

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