Tag Archives: mumpo

No picture, for I am pressed for time

Last night I had to wrangle a baby of my acquaintance because his mum had the pukes, which he thoughtfully gave to her. He’s all better, don’t worry. We made a pizza, and we had a nasty disagreement over how much oregano to use. Then he was still steamed about that, so I agreed to make him an Americano*. Once I finished, he was all “But I wanted that iced,” and I was all “Things that could have been brought to my attention YESTERDAY.”

But we patched it up with some active listening, and then he took his first steps! He doesn’t even reach 10 months for another few days. They were pretty half-assed steps, but they totally counted, and then he did them again. The secret to teaching a baby to walk is to dangle a Chinese menu just out of his reach.

He finally passed out in my lap after about 6 Baby Einstein DVDs. Those movies rule! They made me want to smoke so much oregano. I have to get him from daycare later. I think we will make homemade ice cream and sharpen all the knives in the knife block.

I hope I don’t catch the pukes. Also, I am out of oregano. No good can come of this.

*I did not really make coffee for a 10-month-old. We just ate frosting out of a tub from Costco, duh.