Tag Archives: alternate reality

Now my heart is full

he's the Mary, hurrah

Wow, that was a hell of a ride. Yesterday was certainly the most memorable November Tuesday of MY young, glamorous life. John Kerry’s stunning upset over George W. Bush had me up until the wee hours, biting my nails at first until Florida and Michigan and Pennsylvania came in blue.

My jaw hung open when they called Texas for Kerry, followed by North Carolina and Tennessee. After that, I wasted no time diving into the case of Chateau Lafitte I’d been saving for just such an occasion. Kerry looked so presidential when he gave his victory speech. That man can pick out a tie. As anyone could have predicted, Bush simpered and smirked and screwed up a Yogi Berra quote, something along the lines of “The over it ain’t.” At some point my head hit the coffee table.

I just don’t know what I would have done if John Kerry did not win this election. Probably I would have continued to think about my hair, or I might have ordered a bubble tea. Oh well, now I no longer have to retain any conscience or political awareness at all!

Yet I am puzzled that the morning papers have absolutely no coverage of this momentous event. And talk of the Red Sox and their thrilling series victory also seems to have faded. Stranger still, when I went to my shrink appointment, he seemed utterly unaware of Daylight Savings Time, and told me I was too late for my appointment. Oh well, the stupid little creatures of nature don’t bother me now that we are free from the perilous scourge of four more years of totalitarian rule. Did Daylight Savings Time get cancelled this year? I seem to have totally missed the Today show. I was really wondering what Al Roker thought about all of this.

(edit: This is what happens when someone staggers drunkenly into the time machine, their fingers still sticky from gummi bears! Licketysplit is now vomiting in the pines somwhere in the catskills, 1947. I have no idea where she plans to spend her hangover- Havana, perhaps? So you must all still VOTE, and save the planet and all that. A Rush and a Push and the Land we stand on is Ours. It has been before, so it shall be again!-lc)