I had a rough start to my day when a bus cut me off, tried to run me off the road.Â I backed up and tried to pass it on the left while it stopped for passengers, but then itÂ came atÂ me from the other direction, pushing me into an SUV.Â I kinda had that star wars trapped-in-the-trash-compactor-seconds-from-the-crunching-of-bonesÂ feeling for a second there.Â While that may seem pretty cool, I was surprised to find it was not.Â
And it is (waah waaah) too cold and blustery and my dress is too tight and if you reeeeeally loved me…
In the interest of balance, this day has not been all bad.Â It has not completely sucked the sheen from my grill.Â Spicy tofu and eggplant for lunch, mighty fine.Â And then I had to say “Adcocks” a bunch of times, because it is someone’s surname.Â And that was pretty great.Â Adcocks!Â But then, Lo!Â I came across Junderwear.Â Brief jegging underwear for men and their dongles.
Hello, my name is Junderwear Adcocks, and my life is a pointless shell.Â I inhabit a lonely cubicle,Â my onlyÂ source of adult converse beingÂ an automaton to remark on the weather or the relative position of the present moment to Saturday.Â Beneath this frustrated husk beats the furious heart of an artist whose gentles are firm in the grip of Junderwear!
What more horror may be in store if I stubbornly insist on remaining awake?Â Please try and keep your teeth in your jaw, and your dangles in your jundies and I will inform you in all haste.