The heart wants what it wants: please stop eating Crisco

Fear not! We’re here, we’re queer, but only for the right person. We’re breathless and festooned in red and pink tinsel, our bosoms cantilevered just so. Make it rain rubies, for we’ve got umbrellas in our drinks. Stay stuck to your seat all day as we bring you uncensored St. Vomitola’s Day uncoverage!

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