Hey, what’s your spirit animal? I am like that bear who can’t follow through! Since I recently spent approximately 25 years not following through, these days my life consists of a Bataan Death March of compensatory follow-through. I am under personal obligation to indulge and present any old crazy idea that occurs, no matter the peril or exhaustion. Â To that end, may I present : Tales for Awful People, a collection of instructive fables.
Five years ago, two little squirrels (they were related) wrote a collection of fables, inspired by daily living and the terrible offenses committed in the name of that topic.
The squirrels got the name of a friendâ€™s literary agent, and they agonized over writing a query, but because they are likeÂ The Yak Who Feared Success, they never sent it. These squirrels had A Childhood, you see. One of the squirrels recently said â€œSister dear, since we are doing nothing better with the fruits of our labor, let us post installments on the internet.â€ The other squirrel said â€œSure!â€
But then the first squirrel was trolling around Amazon and discovered thatÂ David Sedaris just came out with a book of animal fables. â€œFuck,â€ said the squirrel. There is a moral here somewhere.
In other news, we now have a Facebook fan page. Over on the right-ish. LIKE US. YOU REALLY LIKE US. Come on, this book deal goes to 11!
A muskrat is very annoyed that a fusty ol’ rabbit has stolen the thunder of a squirrel…
Did you HAVE to mention my muskrat?