After much prayer and consideration (used a cootie catcher), I realize that now is the time to speak up for principle, for the one man who can oppose the lunatic New World Order. For that reason, I encourage you all to write in Ron Paul tomorrow.
Oh, I kill me. Go on, Google “lunatic New World Order.” But I did dream about exploding building all night last night. I was in a high rise looking down while watching bombs fall in what was supposed to be New York but looked way more like Chicago. It was rather stressful, and between that and a child’s non-observance of “Fall Back,” I am on my last fraying nerve today. Let it be Wednesday morning already?
I mean, whoa, stuff be scary. There are McCain-Palin signs in Massachusetts! We skipped all those houses while trick-or-treating. I do not want their pizen candy! It is bad enough that I made the tone deaf mistake of dressing my kid in an elephant costume. What was I thinking?
There is even a McCain-Palin sign on the lawn next to our Democrat state rep’s house. Now, the rep has a bigger flag, so I see who wins this round. How does he refrain from getting up at 4 a.m. every day to go piss on that sign? Come to think of it, the grass was rather brown around the sign. We took pictures of ourselves being terrified by the sign. That sign was the scariest thing I saw all night, by a mile. The dad driving his kid from house to house was a close second. If you’re for McCain, fine, whatever. I could buy that we’d have done better under McCain than GWB had 2000 gone another way, but Palin? Really? America? You there? Don’t they make yard signs without her name on them?
I’ll be working on perfecting a macaroni and cheese recipe that is also fortified with benzodiazepines if you need me. I’m gonna be rich. I also have to call HAARP and have them engineer a ridiculous blizzard over Western Pennsylvania and selected parts of Florida. Don’t forget, me!!!!
See also, David Sedaris asking the same basic question: WTF??
Damn, forgot to link to that. I concur, Mr. Sedaris.