Fiesta de Septiembre

Today is the third anniversary of my legal ensnarement of Mr. H. At least according to the state of Massachusetts. The JP actually filled out the form wrong. It’s really tomorrow. Then our sham wedding anniversary is Wednesday. Got it? OK. It’s a big month here atop the Indian burial ground. We both have birthdays, and of course our cat anniversary because I am the asshole who gives free kittens as gifts. I can’t wait to turn 25 again. Each year, our age gap widens. Soon it’ll be like {Warren Jeffs joke}. Oh, my heart’s not in it. You may note that I have a nearly three-month-old baby, so what happens in September does not stay in September. Don’t believe September for a moment. She’ll screw your cousin, give you herpes, and make you think you gave it to her first.

It’s 2 PM, and I have accomplished a shower (but not a hair drying, and now it looks all funny) and two baby naps. The painter’s tape stuck to one spot on the ceiling mocks me. It’s been there since January, and all I want to do is tear it down. But I can’t lift the ladder by myself, and the person who can lift the ladder will make so much noise that a baby wakes up. A tired baby is an angry baby. So here we are again, piece of tape. The days just trickle away. Hi, hi!

10 responses to “Fiesta de Septiembre”

  1. That was my Charlotte Perkins Gilman reference for the decade, by the way. Wouldn’t Mrs. Granski be proud? Good luck with the tape.

  2. leah: I am wearing a shapeless denim jumper for maximum Lord pleasing.
    anon-a-jenna: we don’t have ROOMS. although the whole place was indeed painted a sickly shade of yellow before we fixed it. now Mrs. Granski is going to google herself and find this, OMG.

  3. Hi, hi! I remember your sham marriage! There was cake, and I wore a bad dress because I spent the money mom had given me for a real dress on a vacuum cleaner. Ugh. I an asshole. Many happy returns.

  4. Congratulations. I still remember your thoughtful thank-you note: “We have yet to throw these at each other, but I imagine they will come in handy when we need them for that purpose.”

  5. aaron: would you believe we still haven’t thrown them?

    mr. h: This entitles you to stay married to me for at least one (1) more calendar year!

  6. Of all the thank-you notes from all the gifts from all the weddings– yours was the only one that was actually interesting.

    I feel the same way about your baby: she is the most interesting of all the babies from all the weddings I’ve been to.

    (Disclosure: she is the only baby from any of those weddings, but still.)

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