It’s amazing how somone under 7 pounds can make two adults with a combined 61 years of life experience feel totally incompetent at times. Mr. H does not know how a kimono works, but the baby forgave him after a withering stare. Or maybe she got distracted by her own hand. We can’t be sure.

On the plus side: “I have a baby” is the world’s best excuse. I got a lame-tastic bridal shower invite today that included the wording “Red Sox attire strongly suggested!” Oh, darn, the baby. Someone wanted me to take a small freelance job. Oh, the baby. I’m going to try that next year at tax time. I can’t pay, I have a baby. I’m going to use this line until she’s at least eight.