No scratches! No! No! Stop it, kitty. NO THANK YOU is what parents who do not always follow through say when their child misbehaves. NO THANK YOU KITTY. Who’s the kitty? Who can stay mad at you? Certainly not me. Pass me some of that crab dip. Think you’re people!

Man alive. I keep forgetting about this blog thing. I keep making and completing lists instead. List: 1 king-sized mattress. 100 ounces of water. Half as much magnesium as calcium. 120 hours of work in 2 weeks. 4 nights in a hotel. 2 plane tickets. 4 nights in another hotel. Shallots. Can’t have enough. Well, 2, I bought 2. 1….I don’t know, what the fuck do you need for a live baby anyway? I should knit a blanket maybe? Am pretty sure I do not need a wipes warmer. But maybe a ghastly mirror stuck in a bear. That baby looks like Winston Churchill. I could use an immersion blender for purposes of my own. Am too lazy to blend in regular style. Immersion blender also easier for baby to use.

Tonight: week-old chicken! Bird flu + old food phobia, together at last. I have mushrooms to chop.