Take the No Wal-Mart Holiday Shopping Pledge. I know this will be easy for most of you, since there is no way in hell you shop there anyway. And I always like feeling effective while not changing my habits at all. That rules!
Although the other day, I was at the bank, and I needed to pick up milk, and there was a Wal-Mart right there, and I thought “Hmm.” But then I slammed my face into the steering wheel to remind myself that we don’t shop at Wal-Mart in our family. Bad! NO BARK! So I went home and milked the neighbor’s cow instead. Or maybe it was actually Drunk Upstairs Cheryl. I’m not sure, but I milked something. Luckily, I drink soy milk. My inner obesity has requested that I switch to cream laced with chocolate syrup, but there are some things up with we cannot put.
bailamos, let the rhythm take you over bailamos, te quiero amor mio. TE QUIERRRROOOOO
Best strategy: tell everyone you’re making gifts to charity in their name. Then, don’t do anything. They’ll never know.
These are all ideas.
But where else will I buy Rimmel cosmetics in America? Do you want me to be ugly? (This is a serious inquiry.)
Yes, of course I want you to be ugly. Who doesn’t want to be the pretty one? And isn’t there a similar low-rent brand at Target? I am tired of doing the thinking FOR you people.