It takes a village

By my estimate, I engage the services of a dentist, an orthodontist/cosmetic dentist, a doctor, a lady parts doctor, a hairstylist, a colorist, a lawyer, an accountant, a financial advisor, the occasional cleaning help, a tailor, a trainer, a mechanic, an insurance agent, and now a ghostwriter. How did this happen? I am an invalid, incapable of all but ordering plane tickets on line. And preparing recipes that do not require fine chopping.

The ghostwriter will be undertaking all of my personal correspondence, starting today. For a monthly retainer, she will be writing this journal, commenting on the journals of others, answering my emails, and generally insulating me from the public. I have ordered a rubber stamp of my signature. I feel like Kostabi!

If only I could have her go to the gym for me. And the bathroom. I’ll be in Phuket if anyone needs me.

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