Yesterday I received an email from my mother, the woman who taught me to read, the woman who obsessively drilled me on grammar and punctuation, in which she stated “Our’s is better.” I consulted my sister, and she agreed that the internet is making everyone stupid. Well, I wan-t a piece of it.
me: lets popularize the overuse of dashes
me: im done with apostrophes
her: well–if you feel we must
me: totally-dont you think-
her: i used to know some kids who overused elipses….that got old fast….but they seemed to think it was reasonable
me: thats fun too-but dashes are snappier
her: totally–im on-the-go!
me: in five years-if all the internet uses shitty dashes-i will feel so vindicated
me: two dashes at the end of the sentence indicates enthusiasm–
me: why are you-re dashe-s bigger than mine —-
her: different font?
me: oh right- i felt insecure
her: someone who works at the local paper–said theyre letting alot of people go right now–not doing so much hiring
her: and that i should try NPR
me: wait-ll they see these dashes-
her: i know–
her: wave of the effing future
me: good god—–
her: –in front gives it that mexicano flavor–
me: it-s fun to type–
me: fun like drinking nyquil–
her: i wish i had some nyquil—right now
Then we dis-cussed how dis-appointed we are in our parents- plan to pave the front yard.