Yesterday I received an email from my mother, the woman who taught me to read, the woman who obsessively drilled me on grammar and punctuation, in which she stated “Our’s is better.” I consulted my sister, and she agreed that the internet is making everyone stupid. Well, I wan-t a piece of it.

me: lets popularize the overuse of dashes

me: im done with apostrophes

her: well–if you feel we must

me: totally-dont you think-

her: i used to know some kids who overused elipses….that got old fast….but they seemed to think it was reasonable

me: thats fun too-but dashes are snappier

her: totally–im on-the-go!

me: in five years-if all the internet uses shitty dashes-i will feel so vindicated

her: ha-ha

her: totally–

me: two dashes at the end of the sentence indicates enthusiasm–

her: ok–

me: why are you-re dashe-s bigger than mine —-

her: different font?

me: oh right- i felt insecure

her: someone who works at the local paper–said theyre letting alot of people go right now–not doing so much hiring

her: and that i should try NPR

me: wait-ll they see these dashes-

her: i know–

her: wave of the effing future

me: —–

her: –right–

me: good god—–

her: –in front gives it that mexicano flavor–

me: –ole–

me: it-s fun to type–

me: fun like drinking nyquil–

her: i wish i had some nyquil—right now

Then we dis-cussed how dis-appointed we are in our parents- plan to pave the front yard.

-xxoo