I am calculating my faults and bad habits, weighing the probability of miraculous transformation-all the things that are promptly forgotten once the champagne has been uncorked. Yes, its time for Lambchop’s New Year’s Resolutions:

1. I resolve to listen to all those Current 93 cds.

2. I resolve to eat at home, umm, sometime.

3. I resolve to resume recreational drug use. (just kidding, Boss!)

4. I resolve to revive the ascot.

5. I resolve to make better paintings.

6. I resolve to be more insane, but less irritating.

7. I resolve to scratch the itch.

8. I resolve to spend less time at the motherf@§$ing doctor’s office.

9. I resolve to Make Life Beautiful!

and most importantly,

10. I resolve to Lie.

-xo