I think it says “Abuse me.” Why else would I be doing work on a saturday for a job from which I’m fired in the future? While my christmas shopping goes undone, the laundry stays filthy, and my husband is a shivering, hacking heap in the spare bedroom. Where are my candy suckers and visits to the petting zoo? I’m resigning myself to the fact that I obviously perpetuated some atrocity in a former life. Or possibly three weeks ago, I’m just not sure anymore.