Lambchop: oh my, we truly are damned
Lambchop: we are headed straight for a fiery pit

Licketysplit: yipes: http://www.boston.com/dailynews/118/region/City_finds_dozens_of_dead_cats:.shtml

Licketysplit: a posh fiery pit at least

Lambchop: to be assaulted by satan’s little wizards who offer us champagne that is a little “flat”

Lambchop: ACK!

Licketysplit: if you were going to rent an apartment for nefarious purposes, why not pick a more reasonably priced neighborhood??

Lambchop: is there a market for dead cats?

Licketysplit: perhaps!

Lambchop: some great boon in dead cat futures we were not aware of?

Licketysplit: the tv news last night said they suspected this was experimentation to breed a better show persian

Lambchop: YIKES!

Lambchop: I thought healthy, live animals generally entered those things

Lambchop: but its nice that they give an equal shot to those stinking and decaying

Licketysplit: at least *I* still have a chance!

Lambchop: after all, when I am a gaseous soup in my coffin, I would hate to think I can no longer be on TV!

Lambchop: you and I simply MUST have a talk show from the grave!

Licketysplit: ho ho, i will make sure your urn is polished to a fare-thee-well

Lambchop: awww, after you lovingly pile my dusty remnants in there- no pyre necessary!

Licketysplit: “my career was going so well, until my stinking hellhole of a cat tomb was discovered!”

Lambchop: her Makeshift Chamber of Horrors!

Licketysplit: “It’ll do in a pinch!”

Lambchop: i am sure she is rueing the corners she cut in the design of her chamber of horrors!

Lambchop: do you suppose they assist you in such matters at the Home Depot?

Licketysplit: “I am looking to construct a chamber of horrors, but not a shoddy one.”

Lambchop: “I need real know-how about the proper installation of duct tape, heavy plastic sheeting, burlap and sturdy rope.”

Licketysplit: “where are your higher quality trap door mechanisms?”

Lambchop: “how do i insure these meathooks will not rust or flake?”

Licketysplit: “i am looking for drainage!”

Lambchop: “i require adequate storage and composting!”

Licketysplit: “ventilation is a must, but i am concerned about sound”

Lambchop: “how can I construct a crawlspace that will really stand up to the test of time?”

Lambchop: hee, i was imagining us having a real DIY guy on our show, telling us in his dry workaday way how to build this stuff

Lambchop: that guy from this old house would do anything for a few shekels!

Lambchop: we would be handling weatherproofing and sealants and nodding sagely!

Lambchop: interrupting at just the right moments with penetrating questions like “how will this affect the health of my family? For example, a mother living in the attic”