Winn-ers and Losers

Dear Kitty Winn,

I am a very critical person..Definitely cynical, definitely a champion worrier. But yet…I’m pretty happy overall. I just can’t help it. I’m lucky and I know it, but I don’t typically discuss that. This annoys my miserable friends.When I have good news to report, they don’t say things like “Congratulations.” They take my news and turn it around until it’s self-referential. Let’s say I get a new job without even looking very hard. They are having a hard time finding a job, so the first thing they say is “Oh, I’ll never find a job.” I smile pleasantly, displaying my gleaming white smile, and respond with something like “Oh sure you will, one thing that worked for me was finding out which friends’ companies are hiring.” But I want to yell at them. To say “Look fucko, how about a ‘way to go, sport?’ How about not thinking about yourself for one freaking irksome minute of the day?” Not to mention the fact that I had just been laid off, hadn’t even bitched about that, had gone out and started blanketing people with resumes and making phone calls instead? Never pissed and moaned so they felt compelled to pick up the check at lunch out of embarrassment at their own good fortune.

Tell me, Kitty, am I wrong to consider just ditching these people? Can you rehabilitate an energy vampire, or do I need to find a silver stake or something? There are a few…It would deplete my friend roster, but with friends like these, yadda yadda. Am I misunderstanding something? If I do ditch them, do I owe an explanation? I don’t know that it would help, but it might be akin to exorcism.

-Johnny Handsome

Dear Handsome

It seems that you are the one who needs to vent! Forget your loser friends. How about we have lunch? I fancy a bit of chilean sea bass in a cozy lounge as a respite from job-hunting, which is going really terribly since you asked.

1 o’clock good for you?

-Kitty Winn

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