Dear Kitty Winn
I really enjoy your letters. My problem is my girlfriend. We are having a rough time lately and she expresses her feelings mainly by making fun of me in front of our friends. She calls me “meatball” and quips that my cock is useless. She makes us all laugh, but I wonder if I am laughing my way to singlehood.
Kitty Winn is awash in roses and does not have time for the sorry dog’s dinner that is your life. It’s Valentines Day! Thank you boys for the scented bath pearls and the petit-fours and ankle bracelets and trails of hershey’s kisses. Its time to uncork the bubbly and read through the perfumed sonnets. Flowers everywhere! How dare anyone court me with their sniffly little foo foo meatball problems!
(we will return tomorrow to our regularly scheduled misery)