igotsuchnothing.com!!!!!!!!!

There is a repro jadeite mixing bowl on the floor of the living room because the ceiling periodically decides to leak iced tea. No one can discern the cause, not even the landlord. He did manage to set off the fire alarm during his discerning, so I guess that's something. While the alarm was going off, I retired to the deck, where I spotted a BOSTON TERRIER relieving himself in a manner most undignified. The relief targeted drunk upstairs Cheryl's car, so it was like I won twice.

Someone wants me to do some work, but this someone's logo is straight up Curlz MT regular. Don't do me lyke dat. Curlz MT, you are part of my pantheon of Terrible Fonts. I went through this uppity phase of turning down work that was not appropriate to my very sensitive nature, but now that our closing date is looming, and the current ceiling is leaking iced tea, I have decided I am less choosy. I choo-choo-choose to be a whore! Would you like to run any advertising that is an affront to the eye? Perhaps send an email campaign that I warn you is in direct violation of all standards of visual taste? Come over here, you big lug. Put the money on mommy's dresser.

What's that, you say I should just get one job, a job I go to every day? Noooooo. Have you seen how much gas costs? Besides, I like to complain, and one encounters the weirdest possible people by freelancing. Today I am awaiting a call from an unmedicated bipolar ad agency owner. I can tell where he is in the mood swing cycle by how many exclamation points go in the emails. Yesterday was a HELLO!!!!!!! kind of day. Doesn't he know about all the DEVASTATION in the world? I'll be sure to ask. But if I tip him too far in the other direction, he won't call me for two weeks!!!!!

Posted 9:13 AM by Licketysplit