Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow



Dear Kitty,


It's been 10 minutes since my esteemed colleague left the firm, and my row,
forever, and already it is unbearable. How does one cope with such loss? I
feel like my life is over. I am sobbing uncontrollably. And on top of this
loss, the colleague I am left with harasses me mercilessly. Just today she
made insulting remarks about the size of my nose, for which I am very touchy
about.

Can you help me?

-anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I was very much moved by your letter, and I shall give you the name of my very own personal cosmetic surgeon. You shall walk away from this trauma with a perfect nose. One need not miss old friends when one has a beautiful face in the mirror to gaze upon with deep satisfaction. Or has their own television show.

Love,
Kitty Winn

Posted 10:49 AM by Lambchop