Get a haircut and get a real job

Yesterday I got the haircut. That's a start, right? I have 1/2 inch long bangs. I said "I feel suburban," and my stylist rubbed her hands together with glee at the butchery that would take place. I like it. She asked if people really wear sweatshirts all the time out here, and I said "Oh, but they do!" and she had an involuntary spasm and cut off three inches of hair.

I am starting to see real muscle definition from my escapades at the gymnasium. This is incredibly exciting. I opened the APR Vogue magazine the other day randomly, and got a page with a picture of an incredibly obese woman. I screeched and dropped it! Body image, schmody image. I buy Vogue specifically to see attractive people, and I am writing them a v.v. nasty letter. It's nice that they dally with the little people (har!) and address the topic of American obesity, but it is misleading to the consumer who prefers an oasis where such things simply do not exist.

The man upstairs with the piano has enlisted a singing companion. Two days ago, this woman caterwauled "You make me feeeeeel like a natural....wooooomannnnn....." for three hours straight. Further impetus to get a job that entails leaving the house, as this is no longer charming. I am updating my resume, right after my power nap. I have officially quit freelance and must simply wrap up what I already have going on.

-xxoo

Posted 1:23 PM by Licketysplit