Low and slow

How are we remaining healthy these days?

  • Regurgitation due to realization that calories in pills might cause weight gain.
  • Avoiding setting foot in Catholic churches, lest we explode. True story, I walked by one today, and I got this tingle in my thigh like one does right before spontaneous human combustion. I read about that in the Time-Life Mysteries of the Unknown series when I was nine. Beware the hot spot.
  • Springing for surgery in Thailand vs. the DIY version.
  • Daily consultation with Morrissey, who reminds us just how much worse life could be. At least three to five people love me!
  • Remembering that it’s almost Friday, the day sandwiched after Thursday but before Saturday. This concept is followed by the soothing or horrifying realization that all things are possible in America.

And all this healthy living is seriously threatened by Sunday, the worst day of the week, while we’re on the topic of the predictable and inexorable passing of time. You may think it’s Monday, or even Tuesday, but Sunday wields the power of dread, the very prod that stokes the fire of my soul.

If not for the eleven perfect minutes that elapse from my first sip of wine to the end of family dinner, I think I would opt out of Sundays. But then again, AFV is on! Tough call.

One response to “Low and slow”

  1. I am also a huge fan of the Mysteries of the Unknown books, which I read voraciously as a child. I paid for this passion by lying awake in a panic every time I got a fever.

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