Whoa, is that stabbing pain behind my collar bone, sort of in my chestal-throatal region a harbinger of a blood clot from my birth control pill, or is it just the first tickle of the rapture? Could it be due to my all-cake diet of the past week? Little bit stressful ’round these parts, let’s [...]
Recently, I was behind a small SUV on the interstate that appeared to be driverless. I was startled for a minute, then nonplussed that I got left out of the rapture. As I passed, the driver popped up triumphant, holding a cellphone rescued from some nook or cranny. Later in the drive, I passed a [...]
Our retirement funds are only down 25%! We beat the market! Yay! Warren, look out. I will be the next secretary of the treasury. Or the navy. I always thought that would be fun. We are taking stock of our positions watching “Baby Mama” on OnDemand tonight. Mr. H is likely headed to a new [...]
An unassuming but delicious salad from my childhood: 2 packs pistachio pudding mix 1 20 oz can crushed pineapple 1 tub of thawed Cool Whip tiny marshmallows and chopped walnuts to taste Gobble accordingly, my friends. My fellow Americans, I know how to make the salad. I know where to get the marshmallows. I am [...]
Dang, my kid is sucking on a toy made in China. I bet it is pure injection molded melamine, coated with lead. Luckily she has brain cells to spare. She can put her shoes on! She can memorize books and recite them while on her hind legs, like a little Rory Calhoun. She sees when [...]
In my dream, I was grocery shopping, and Sarah Palin was there defending herself against the newly exhumed fact that she did not graduate from high school (N.B.: this is in a dream, I ain’t be starting any rumors). Of course this led to her supporters showing up and chanting “Sarah Palin graduates! Sarah Palin [...]
Hey, so, when one is a little “out there” for white supremacists, what can that mean? Stormfront White Nationalist Community on Sarah Palin Just sayin’. Share:
Large Hadron Collider, you’re our only hope! I am painting my “Antimatter #1″ foam finger right now. Actually, a ybab is doing that. You might say “No, she is eating the tongue depressor with a sticker on it that she got at the doctor’s office this morning.” You’d be right. My head did not split [...]
I haven’t discussed politics as they relate to this presidential election as of yet. I have thought about writing something down about a zillion times, and I end up feeling sick and queasy and just inarticulate and angry. Friday’s Republican VP pick actually filled me with cold fear. Here is someone who has the charisma [...]
I got a scale that measures my body fat percentage, and you are about to be painfully informed of how happy this makes me. Some people are afraid of the numbers on the scale, but I take it in stride as Science. I have 25% body fat, by the way! Wooooo! I am excited not [...]
