Whoa, is that stabbing pain behind my collar bone, sort of in my chestal-throatal region a harbinger of a blood clot from my birth control pill, or is it just the first tickle of the rapture? Could it be due to my all-cake diet of the past week? Little bit stressful ’round these parts, let’s [...]
Recently, I was behind a small SUV on the interstate that appeared to be driverless. I was startled for a minute, then nonplussed that I got left out of the rapture. As I passed, the driver popped up triumphant, holding a cellphone rescued from some nook or cranny. Later in the drive, I passed a [...]
Our retirement funds are only down 25%! We beat the market! Yay! Warren, look out. I will be the next secretary of the treasury. Or the navy. I always thought that would be fun. We are taking stock of our positions watching “Baby Mama” on OnDemand tonight. Mr. H is likely headed to a new [...]
An unassuming but delicious salad from my childhood: 2 packs pistachio pudding mix 1 20 oz can crushed pineapple 1 tub of thawed Cool Whip tiny marshmallows and chopped walnuts to taste Gobble accordingly, my friends. My fellow Americans, I know how to make the salad. I know where to get the marshmallows. I am [...]
Dang, my kid is sucking on a toy made in China. I bet it is pure injection molded melamine, coated with lead. Luckily she has brain cells to spare. She can put her shoes on! She can memorize books and recite them while on her hind legs, like a little Rory Calhoun. She sees when [...]
