If it quacks like hydrogenated oil, then it must be an Oreo

Recently I found out that Oreos are dairy-free. Who knew eating vegan could be so bad for you?

I am covered in fibers from my new hemp shopping totes. That I used to carry home pure poison.

Oh, that smear on the floor is avocado. Glad I finally figured that one out. I might get around to cleaning it up in another few days. I have to clean up because IKEA is coming to leave us 379 boxes of screws and some pieces of MDF. This time, I am not going to follow their instructions. I am going to build a small replica of the Guggenheim Bilbao instead. Directions are for chumps! And Mr. H, who will really put together the IKEA. I will stand there and say “Are you sure that doesn’t go there…are you SURE?” until he backhands me and takes my shoes and sends me to the kitchen.

But that’s OK, because there are Oreos in there.

9 responses to “If it quacks like hydrogenated oil, then it must be an Oreo”

  1. Dog, not to piss on your parade, but Oreos totes have whey in them. I am not sure if that counts as dairy for allergy elimination purposes, but it is from animal.

  2. Wait, I may have commented too soon: when I was a chubby vegan teen, Oreos had whey, and I was sad, but I see by the internet that it’s no longer listed as an ingredient. So eet ur poison in good health.

  3. Back in the day, they were made with lard instead of vegetable shortening! I remember when they became vegetarian!

  4. No whey on the label. In a bold move, they have further distanced themselves from real food! But I am already over the Oreos. Mainly because I ate them all.

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