Tonight I took a ybab to the condo association meeting because I had to vote for people to be head busybody and Lord High Protector of the Visitor Parking Spot. A ybab behaved most delightfully, better than many of the adults present. Seen but not heard is a welcome prescription for most of society. OK, [...]
Mr. H is threatening to grow a beard. I believe he tried this in 2004, and hilarity ensued. My Zellweger set the microwave on fire with a Chinese food container. That bitch! I think I’m going to have her return the dry cleaning hangers as punishment. Share:
I just tested a ybab’s fault tolerance with 30 seconds of Gwen Stefani, courtesy of iTunes. She reacted with the same face she makes when she acccidentally bites herself. Share:
Hep me, Uncle Wiggily! A ybab has been replaced with a Tasmanian Devil. Only between the hours of 11pm and 5am. Ryan wants to give her Benadryl, but I am not totally up for drugging children recreationally. She’ll pick up that slack when she’s a teenager. Why, a somewhat feathered duck did tell me a [...]
I’m getting new business cards made up. In my mind, I am smart and capable and earn a fabulous living while balancing the needs of my family. My mind is a liar. Actually, I am behind on everything to the point where no one will ever call me again, not wearing pants (which meant I [...]
Today A. Ybab and Mr. H and I went for a walk. I strapped her to my front and pulled my coat around her so only her foolishly be-hatted head stuck out. This deflects some of the alcoholics who live under the streets downtown, but not all of them. She continues to test well with [...]
First, it is not so much a carpet as an area rug that was liberated from the Crate & Barrel outlet for $19. Second, it is not so much bloodstained as adorned with a quarter-sized splotch of cat barf. Third, rather than clean it, I am going to take it to be burned. Fourth, the [...]
Then there was some sleeping, and some life force draining, and more sleeping, and more life force draining. Laundry was not folded. Then phone calls were made because someone thinks speakerphone is soooo funny. A ybab yelled at Grandma, who said crazy things. “Well, maybe those veal were raised nicely.” Then Mr. H came home. [...]
A ybab did not care to sleep, so we tried to go for a walk. It’s jeezly cold out, and the wind is whipping along the river. Old ladies glared at me for daring to take a ybab out. She was wrapped in a snug blanket, and she was wearing her silliest hat. I was not [...]
I’m glad you asked. A ybab and I went through the drive-thru at the drugstore to get drugs. Then we went to the deli to buy a lot lot of booze. The deli was mostly out of booze! They are going to convert to a cafe soon. I forgot to RESERVE PIE NOW, and I [...]
