A: She wants to host a gameshow

A: She has an irrational grudge against Hugo Boss because of an imagined slight

A: Once a cat goes I-talian, she can’t be happy sitting on American clothes again

A: All the suits are on the couch because the guts of the closet are ripped out thanks to EasyCloset.com not being as easy as alleged

Any of these would be OK and reasonable answers, relevant to life as we know it.

In other news, I have a giant scary-looking envelope from the IRS that I do not wish to open. I can’t wait until the parasite gets here. She’ll open my mail and learn to run the fax machine. It’ll be a regular Dickensian workhouse around here.

Excuse me, a cat looks totally stupid in a cashmere sweater. Mr. H’s clothes are much nicer than mine since he gets to leave the house sometimes, and I am secretly jealous. So I will let her continue wallowing around in there. I see nothing!