But now we’re home. Share:
Share:
Vomitola
You're the Mary
Monthly Archives: June 2006
Jun 12
There’s no dog, but there IS a baboon!
What a big, exciting weekend. I got the Ren & Stimpy DVDs I’ve been coveting for so long! And then whaddya know, one of my favorite episodes was on TV for free yesterday. Rip. Big rip. Then Mr. H made me go to Linens N’ Things. I guess we need things. He always wants crap [...]
Share:
Jun 09
Advice! Yes, please!
I went to meet a pediatrician this morning. I had picked the most attractive person in the practice, but she was busy, which left Miss First Runner Up. So Stunt Double presented me with a photocopied booklet with line art of a demonic teddy bear on it. I knew right then that I would die [...]
Share:
Jun 08
Why is a cat stuffed in a Canali suit?
A: She wants to host a gameshow A: She has an irrational grudge against Hugo Boss because of an imagined slight A: Once a cat goes I-talian, she can’t be happy sitting on American clothes again A: All the suits are on the couch because the guts of the closet are ripped out thanks to [...]
Share:
Jun 06
Oh God, I am so weary of opening proxy envelopes. How did you know?
Today my checking acccount contains $664.44*. So darn close to beastliness. Clearly Mr. H did not get the Satanic Memo when he made that ill-considered ATM withdrawal yesterday. Learn some of the math, fucko! People are all “So watcha gonna do if yer baby is born on SIX SIX SIX?” And I’m all “Yell and [...]
Share:
Jun 04
It’s like Ed Norton decorated our bathroom
That’s an IKEA joke. Badum. I would punch Ed Norton too. Note to greater universe: calling or emailing me every day does not make the parasite come out any faster. In fact, each contact initiation adds one day before I will actually tell you any news at all. Three days if the email also contains [...]
Share:
Jun 01
Can I get some unnecessary antibiotics with that condescension?
The other day I made the big, huge, giant mistake of calling my parents to let them know we moved back into our house after a soggy two-week vacation in crapsville. I see now that I missed my chance to disappear forever, but live and learn. In passing, I complained to my mother about my [...]
Share:
